Srinivasa Rao, a Profile in Courage!

It takes some courage to live!

There are many things in this world that humans have good understanding for, yet there are others that are impossible to comprehend. The uncertainties of life and the certainty of our eventual death is one such thing!

When we are faced with a tragedy like the untimely death of a friend, we search for a higher meaning in philosophies, religious traditions and intellectual discourses. I was left doing the same along with others assembled on Saturday Nov 21, 2015 at the last rites for Srinivasa Rao Pragadaraju, whom hundreds call a friend, a colleague, a cricket buddy and a family member.

Srinivasa Rao in his office at a CNSI client location in Baltimore.

Aiding in the quest for meaning were devotional hymns and Krishna's advice from Mahabharata, playing in the background, followed by a ceremony performed according to Hindu traditions. The sanskrit slokas used in the ceremony some of which I was familiar with and others the Purohit leading the rites was kind enough to translate. We are made from the elements, this life does not belong to us, we live while we are alive and upon death our body returns to the elements. And that everyone plays a part in helping the soul’s transition from this life to the next.

The theme was familiar from my own Muslim upbringing. Kullu nafsun zaikhatul maut. Every soul shall taste death! Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajioon. To Allah, the creator, we all belong. And to Him is our return. Even as we recognize this truth, we struggle to come to terms with it. I kept thinking, if life itself is transitory, then why do we mourn death, we must rather celebrate it! We should learn from those that have gone before and left an impression on our lives and made a mark in this world.

We have a lot to rejoice and learn from Srinivasa Rao’s life of forty two years. His life was truly a profile in courage! There are many facets of his life and he was many things to many people. His upbringing in Hyderabad, his years in Middle East and settling down in the United States contributed to his unique understanding. Common to all who knew him was his cheerful and friendly nature, always ready to help but never seeking any. Even when faced with harsh realities life has dealt him, he was never bitter! During his struggle with cancer that had relapsed and spread, nothing changed in him. In the two months that he was visibly weaker and appeared to be in pain, he did not accept offers for a ride or to do little tasks for him. Except for an occasional change of bottle for the office water cooler or the one time he asked me to bring lunch from the Halal gyro cart few blocks from our downtown Baltimore office, he never asked for any kind of help.

He preferred to come to work, rather than stay at home between his chemo sessions and scheduled his doctor’s appointments during lunch breaks. I recognized after a couple of conversations, that he wanted to go about his life normally. As a friend and as his manager, I respected that. After all he survived colon cancer 3 years ago. That the second time was going to be different was lost on me, as well as others close to him. Maybe that strong belief in his body's ability to cope was complacency on my part! At times he shared details of his treatment and schedule, but nothing beyond. I would not probe either, but would keep the door open in case he wanted to talk. Bringing up short term disability and FMLA benefits didn’t help either. Maybe I should have pushed him more to stay home. Maybe I should have pushed him to apply for leave earlier. Maybe Srinivasa must have given his body more rest during his treatment. Or maybe being busy and normal was a therapy for his mind and a distraction from his prognosis. I will never know the answer to those "maybes". Only when he was hospitalized, did he apply for short term leave, but even in those three weeks he thought about work.

There was nothing out of the ordinary I could do to help him. Yet, I was amazed that everyone in his family recognized us by names, he always talked to his family about his office colleagues. When I visited the mourning family the day before the funeral, I found them struggling with their own "maybes". Maybe they should have coaxed him to go for screening earlier. Maybe they should have pushed him for this treatment over that. Maybe they should have done this differently or that… Sharing my own set of “maybes” wasn't helping in that situation either. I parted the family with a thought that had helped me deal with the death of my parents; my father a decade ago and most recently my mother with the hope that “maybe” it would help them.

At the funeral, friends and family remembered him in moving eulogies! I too wanted to speak, but my feet wouldn’t carry me and my voice betrayed. I wish I could borrow some of Srinivasa’s courage! The best one was his middle-school daughter, who recalled learning to ride a bicycle and how she fell and bruised five times. But her father prodded her to continue on, to look forward and not focus on the past. That she too will overcome the tragedy however painful and look forward. It was quite evident that Srinivasa’s courage lived on in his family! His wife, Sirisha displayed the same courage, trying to keep her professional life, her home, and the lives of her two daughters normal, while taking charge of her husband’s medical needs. That Srinivasa felt comfortable in her ability to raise the kids after him was evident when he held her hands and breathed his last! His mother, sister, brother-in-law, nephew, niece and other relatives showed similar courage.

Leaving reluctantly after the ceremony, I stopped to say one last good bye to the family. Srinivasa’s brother-in-law, Mr.Nagaraj shook my hand and said, “What you said yesterday has really helped us as a family”. That death is certain and its time is already set. No amount of hindsight or change of scenarios will stop us from the eventual. All that plays out before the death is a preparation for those around to ultimately accept this truth! That timely reminder from Mr.Nagaraj, helped me come to terms with my own maybes and gave me the answers I was searching. That we should let go of our "maybes" and focus on what "can be"! After all, you cannot worry about that which is not under your control! Life’s possibilities are more precious than its uncertainties; it just takes courage to live!


UPDATE: December 14, 2015
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Yesterday, my wife and I visited Srinivasa's home. We met once again with Srinivasa's wife, kids, mother, father-in-law and sister-in-law. We appreciated the opportunity to see  the family again and to learn more about him, his family and how they are trying to move along. 
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CORRECTION: Please note a correction to the name for Srinivasa's brother-in-law. 

Reflections on the 9/11 anniversary

Greetings!

I had an uneasy feeling as I came to work this morning, especially when I saw a crowd gathered in front of our office building. 

The 9/11 memorial at the World Trade Center in Baltimore displays the mangled iron beams from the remains of World Trade Center Building in Manhattan, New York. This memorial serves not only as a grim reminder of the terrible tragedy, but it also reminds us how we American Muslims, both immigrant as well as indigenous, were caught in the midst, just as equally as the victims of the tragedy, but also for the scorn and suspicion with which we were looked upon. 

While we enjoy the liberty and freedoms this land offers, just as wave after wave of immigrants coming to this country have mostly enjoyed since its founding, the reality is that we are also loved and hated in equal parts by our fellow Americans. So, as I was entering our office building today, I wasn't sure what to expect from the crowd that gathered for a somber ceremony, just like those held across the nation today marking the 12th anniversary of September 11 attacks. They probably had a fair bit of idea about my ethnicity and my religious identity. 

It is important for us American Muslims to realize that unless we take it upon ourselves to engage in civic discourses and to participate in the American Public Square, we will continue to fuel the stereotypes that people may continue to hold about us. It is important for us to participate in the local civic associations, at interfaith groups and to volunteer at schools, food banks and soup kitchens. Just as many before us have made sacrifices to build this nation, we must contribute our share to make it even better. So, they shall know us by the fruits we bear!

We work very hard to build our masajids, communities, schools and other institutions to preserve our culture and religious values. But, this should not leave the impression to our next generation and to those outside our community, that we are in any way disconnected from the larger America. The reality is that we live, breathe and will one day die to be buried in this land! 

Today, I am reminded of Woody Guthrie, the American folk-singer who famously sang:

This Land is Your Land, This Land is my Land ...this land was made for you and Me!

Let us remind ourselves also that "this land was made for" American Muslims like you and me! Let us also remind to our neighbors and fellow Americans, that this land is our land indeed!

Let us take a moment today to thank Allah swt for all the bounties he has bestowed upon us! And let us pray for the unfortunate ones and for peace to prevail everywhere! Ameen!

May Allah reward you for everything you do for the community, your neighborhoods and to make this country a better place for all! 

Reflections from my trip to India

I wanted to share some reflections on my trip to India in July/Aug of 2013. I am fortunate enough to visit India almost every year, but this year I had planned my trip so I could spend Ramadan and celebrate Eid-ul-Fitr in India. 

There is no bigger joy than to spend Eid with your close family and friends. The festive month is most enriching here and gives you an opportunity to savor in all its delights, whether you are praying at the mosque, breaking fast at some of the best restaurants or you are out shopping for clothes and gifts. 

Apart from the social and spiritual benefits, we are also reminded of the less fortunate members of the society during this month of worship and charity. While we forgo food and drink for a portion of the day this month to attain piety, there are thousands of families that are forced to go without food out of poverty. It is this thought that also made me think deeper about the visible and invisible aspects of poverty and deprivation in India.

India's Invisible Poor 

While here, I was also following a controversy that stormed the media and India's Parliament. At issue is how to count the poor in a country of 1.2 Billion. According to the latest NSSO data, there is a 15% decline in poverty levels down from 37% in 2005 to 22% in 2010 for all of India. If true, this is an impressive feat! The other side of this story is the Planning Commission's definition of poverty and whether it is adjusted to the market realities and the current cost of living since it was formulated some 40 years ago. An individual spending less than Rs.33 a day in urban areas and less than Rs.27 a day in rural areas for food and living costs is considered poor by the Planning Commission. From my own shopping experience Rs.33 hardly fetches anything; a kilogram of tomatoes sells for Rs.20 and potatoes for Rs.15, and other living costs soaring like the summer temperature. Infact an independent study in urban Delhi has shown that more than 55% of the urban population cannot access the required daily calories intake. Eating less or going hungry to save for utilities and medical costs is a dark reality for a majority of population in India's cities.

Between my trips to decorated restaurants, glittery bazaars and swanky shopping malls it was difficult for me to come to terms with this reality. India's poor which could be anywhere from 22% to 50% of the population (depending on who's counting) is mostly invisible to the middle class and affluent. However, when I looked closer, I saw how the poor and vulnerable among the society crisscross the paths of the middle class who own a car or afford to rent one for a trip to the mall followed by dinner at a near-by restaurant and a stop at the ice-cream shop on their way back home. I could see the invisible poor are right there at every turn. I could see the hawkers selling their wares at traffic intersections, the parking lot attendants, the security guards frisking you at the mall entrance, and the poorly paid staff keeping shelves stocked for you, the tea vendor, some of them so young that you wonder why they are not at school?

Role of Policy Think Tanks 

This is why I was so glad to see a political consensus developing around the Food Security Bill creating a social security net by providing basic food grains like rice, wheat at very affordable prices. The Planning Commission has estimated that subsidized food grain entitlements will cover 67 per cent of the population, which is a major leap forward. But again, like every other program and scheme run by the Government, this may become mired in yet another set of bureaucratic loopholes or systemic inefficiencies. 

Here is where the think-tanks like the US India Policy Institute have the potential to make the most impact at a macro level through its evidence based research, policy discourses with lawmakers, policy monitoring and recommendations. 

US India Policy Institute is the only full-time, US-based, community supported policy think tank for India!

You may support USIPI online at their website www.usindiapolicy.org or send a donation in the mail to: 110 Maryland Ave. NE, Suite 508, Washington, DC 20002

There rides the Peace Train again! after almost 30 years!

I always notice a spark in the eyes of so many of my friends, neighbors and colleagues (mostly the baby-boomer generation in America) and they always fondly speak of Cat Stevens. What a legend he is!

Few singers have such a following. His records were mostly on vinyl and I think they were never released on CD's and tapes (?)

For a long time Cat Stevens, stopped performing, vanished out of sight and left the fans wondering.

After so many years, Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens) performed "Peace Train" in Norway in 2006 at the Noble peace prize ceremony of Mohammed Yunus, the father of "micro-financing" for his work in eradicating poverty in Bangladesh.

I have decided to add a link here to the little-known performance for all those fans who I am sure are going love this treat from him.

Cat Stevens (Yusuf Islam) performs "Peace Train" live after almost 30 years! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7iLPnDCQ1g

Hello World!

We are creatures of habit!

One of the first things an IT professional does when he/she creates something new is to test it.

So, when I signed-up for this blog instead of an introduction or a starter blog, I am creating a test page.

But, then this page also serves to give a brief introduction of me - a stereotypical IT professional from South Asia!

Hello World!


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I grew up in Southern part of India, but I was always curious to learn more about the countries neighboring India. I would read more and more about Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, Nepal, China, Pakistan from the news and any books I could find, but hardly met anyone in person.

But, only after I moved to the US in the year 2000 did I meet with so many of them and made few very good friends. My interest in the shared history, common culture and struggles has only increased. One other thing that's common or me with these friends is the joy and struggle in the newly adopted home, the United States.

Keeping with my interest, I decided to name my blog, South Asian Muslim. I will present my perspectives on the region, on issues affecting the people and most importantly the experiences in the United States.

Stay tuned!